All We Are
by Liv Tanner
Summary: Seeing her there, asleep, connected to a tank of oxygen wasn't an easy thing to do. Still, it was so much better than having her dead. Song: All We Are by OneRepublic.


_**A/N:**_ _Hey everybody! I was listening to this song today while I was in my way to the hospital (don't worry, I'm not sick) and it screamed Hayffie to me, so I HAD to write something… I hope you like it  
_ _The song is_ All We Are _by OneRepublic, it's one of my favorite songs ever (I even tried to learn how to play it on the piano, but I'm more a strings kind of girl, so that didn't turned out very well… Anyway) and I'm sure if you listen to it while reading this fic, it'll made so much more sense.  
_ _Happy May the Fourth, by the way! I know many of you don't even know what that means, but it's such a huge deal for us Star Wars fans… That's probably the reason I'm this inspired today…  
_ _Uff, well… After all that rambling, here we go. Enjoy! (and please leave a review!)_

 **All We Are**

 _I tried to paint you a picture, the colors we're all wrong_

Effie had always been so _white_. She could try and hide her porcelain skin under all that Capitol crap she usually wore, but Haymitch knew just how beautifully pale she was.

He kind of liked the contrast between her delicate whiteness and his own Seam-tanned self; he had seen it on TV, when the reporters insisted on them sitting together for another interview about the two brand new victors from Twelve. But most important, he had seen it on his bed, when she dropped by his side, exhausted, and then wrapped a creamy white arm across his tanned chest.

 _Black and white didn't fit you, and all along_

Not that he'd ever admit it out loud, but he also liked the way white looked on her. He remembered vividly that time, years before they started this… _thing_ of theirs, when he accidentally walked in on her trying on a wedding dress. He didn't ask anything about it; he didn't even dare to say a word that could break the moment.

All he could do was staring at her, the _real_ her, the blonde, blue-eyed, so-white-skinned woman standing there, oblivious of his presence, looking like an angel…

Because, boy, could she look sublime in white.

But years had passed, and Haymitch had come to realize that whatever Effie wore, he would always like her better wearing nothing, lying on his bed with him, her white, naked skin intertwined with his own darker one. And he secretly wished they could spend more time like that; all the more so now, when he had just decided that white –that cold, extremely clean, _hospital_ shade of white- didn't suit her anymore.

 _You we're shaded with patience, and strokes of everything_ _  
_ _That I need just to make it, and I can see that..._

When he had broken all the rules and told her about the rebellion, he had not been expecting she'd understand. He had rather waited for the gasp of surprise and horror coming from her Capitol heart, the accusation of being a traitor, of biting the hand that feeds you, and finally the tears for him leaving her behind to join a group of rebels which odds of winning a war were less than nonexistent.

Yes, Effie had demonstrated him that she possessed a bigger amount of understanding and patience than she let on; she had dealt with him and his manners (or lack thereof) for more years than any other escort that Twelve had had, but this was huge, and he wasn't sure if she hadn't had enough already and could bear with this as easily as always.

But when she didn't cry and just nodded at every word he said, when she just threw herself at him in what felt like a last hug for the road, and when she whispered in his ear after a few seconds: " _Just come back for me, alright? Come back and take me with you_ ", Haymitch couldn't do another thing than promise her and himself that he would.

 _Lord knows I've failed you, time and again_

He hadn't managed to, though. He had tried – God, had he tried – to find her as soon as he could, but Snow was faster. She had disappeared without a trace, and he couldn't keep the only promise he had ever made to her.

 _But you and me are all right_

When the soldiers told him she was alive, Haymitch felt as if his own life was back on his body. He immediately joined the rescue team and didn't listen to any reason Plutarch or the girl could give for him not to.

As they broke in, he briefly thought about what he had said to the kids before they got into the arena for the Quarter Quell: "It's not about trust, it's about staying alive. That means you're gonna have to have some allies." He took a glance to the guys around him. These were his allies now. He needed them to take Effie out. He needed them to take _himself_ out without die trying.

Except he didn't. This was _his_ war, the only one he cared about and the only one he was ready to win at all costs. It wasn't about trust or teams anymore; it was about love. It was about _her_ staying alive.

So when they all jumped down from the hovercraft, he parted the group without a word and ran inside, following the mental map of the place he has made to find Effie as soon as possible.

 _We won't say our goodbye's, you know it's better that way_

She was in the last cell of the last corridor, lying on the floor, naked – why was she naked? – hugging her knees tightly but not moving at all. Her creamy white skin was bruised and cut everywhere, and when he knocked the door down and came to kneel down beside her and gathered her in his arms, he couldn't feel her breath.

 _We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change_

"What did they do to you, sweetheart?" he whispered, running his thumb across her swollen cheek as a warm tear fell down his own and rolled to drop on her chest.

 _All we are, all we are is everything that's right_

The feeling on her shivering body on his arms made him react. He scooped her from the floor and quickly made his way to the exit.

"That's it, princess. Don't you dare die on me…" he said, kissing her forehead when he felt her breathe against his neck.

 _All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi_

"Where were you?" Gale shouted at him from the hovercraft, and added when he saw the woman: "Who's this?"

"Effie Trinket", Haymitch replied, getting on the vehicle and putting her on the floor before looking for a blanket to cover her nakedness. "We're taking her to Thirteen, too."

"We're taking only the people in Katniss' list…"

"She's on _my_ list. You have a problem with that?"

Gale just looked at him for a second and backed down.

 _I walked a minute in your shoes, they never would have fit_

Seeing her there, asleep, connected to a tank of oxygen wasn't an easy thing to do. Haymitch was used to see her standing on those bloody high heels, all dressed up, cheerful and colorful as she was, not this heap of bruises they had turned his Effie into.

Still, he thought, it was so much better than having her dead.

He stood up from the chair he was sitting on and went to her bed. He took the covers and put them aside a little, and then slowly took the hem of her robe up. He shut his eyes in genuine pain when the myriad of scars on her thighs flashed him and put everything back where he had found it.

 _I figured there's nothin' to lose, I need to get_ _  
_ _some perspective on these words, before I write them down_

He had his scars from his Games. He knew they hurt like hell, and he knew they never faded. He didn't know, though, how could the scars of someone else – someone you love with all your heart and soul – hurt so much more than your own.

He wished he could take all the pain she was feeling right now – even if she wasn't awake, he knew she was suffering – away from her. He didn't know how, but if he could feel it for her, he'd do it without hesitance.

He could handle it now. He was stronger now that she was back.

 _You're an island and my ship has run aground_

This was his war, and he had won.

He ran his thumb across her cheek again just like he did when he found her, and tried not to crush her in a tight hug when her eyes fluttered open.

He smiled at her instead. A genuine smile, not his signature mischievous smirk.

She mumbled his name but no sound came out from her mouth. He heard it anyway.

 _Lord knows I'll fail you time and again_

"I'm here, sweetheart", he said before cupping her cheeks as kiss her forehead as if his life depended on it. "I'm so sorry…"

A knot tied up his throat and he rested his cheek on her forehead as he let the tears fall freely from his eyes for the first time on his entire life.

 _But you and me we're alright_

He felt her tremulous fingers ghost on his forearm and looked into her eyes.

 _We won't say our goodbye's, you know it's better that way,_ _  
_ _We won't break, we won't die, it's just a moment of change_ _  
_ _All we are, all we are is everything that's right_ _  
_ _All we need, all we need, a lover's alibi_

"You came back…" she breathed out, her eyes in peace.

 _And every single day that I can breathe,_

 _You change my philosophy,_ _  
_ _I'm never gonna let you pass me by_

"Yeah, sweetheart", he said, kissing her again. "Of course I did."


End file.
